Married to my Prince Charming, attempting to manage the chaos with 4 children, wanna be long distance runner, running around with my kids, running from my kids, running errands and running a household, just a whole lot of running.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
7/19/2012 My View For This Evening
Tonight's run, while a tad over 3 miles, was broken up into two parts. Less than a mile in, it started raining. I stuck it out until it really started coming down. So I headed back home. But before I started out on my first run, I came out to a gorgeous, complete rainbow. Yes, ohh, ahh, pretty, but no big deal. For most people that is.
Over 9 years ago, I lost my first born son Chris to SIDS. He was 2.5 months old. Naturally, it messed me up, big time. But all the depressing details aside, I remember one evening, a few months after he died, I was missing him and I looked outside and saw a rainbow. I felt connected with it, like it was him, somewhere out in the universe, showing me this rainbow for hope.
One of the biggest motivating factors for me when I am running is Chris. I start feeling tired, I start feeling like maybe I should take the shortcut home, and I think of him. My baby who will never grow up, who never took steps and never got the chance to run, I take that thought and I keep going. My ability to get out there and run is something I won't take for granted.
I already get emotional thinking about crossing the finish line after the Princess Half. I am doing this for him. I am taking him with me, his memory, and I am running with him, for him. 5 days after the race is the 10th anniversary of his death. I think about that a lot.
Seeing this rainbow tonight, and knowing how much I think about him when I run, once again it felt like he was out there, saying hello, saying he is with me, and telling me to keep going.